My Spare Time Goes Into Figuring Out How To Be Taller.

Are you short? Yeah me too. My only saving grace is the fact that I have mile long gams. I sometimes throw on a full skirt, and get completely engulfed in it, but I never realize it because, well, I don’t own a full length mirror. So I tromp off to work thinking I look like a supermodel, only to get there, and catch a glimpse of a 6 year old wearing makeup. Like, come on! This has fueled me into doing copious amounts of research..ahem 2 hours..and figuring out how to dress taller! Yay! I cracked the case…or all women stalk did. I just had the nifty skills to look through it and figure out what would work for me.

Look how long your legs would look! And how tiny the waist looks!

High waisted pants. They’re all over the place right now, and they’ll be in full force this fall. I know, I know. Mom jeans come to mind, but this is not the case! Pleated fronts and giant bums are totally 90’s, and instead we are met with a chic, flat front skinny or cigarette pant, that flatters the figure and makes your legs look a mile long! Pair these bad boys with some schmexy heels, and bazinga! You’re an amazonian goddess! Do watch yourself with the wide legged pants though. They look spectacular on tall women, but us shorties get lost in all that fabric.

Tall and sexy? Coulda fooled me!

Heels! I love them. They make me feel like I’m on the catwalk, and don’t lie, we all pretend to be. The only reason K and I don’t wear them at work is because they make too much noise, and I for one, like to sneak around like a ninja. But this must change! When picking out a pair of heels, stay away from ankle straps. They cut the leg at a funny place, and make you look stumpy, really vetoing the whole reason behind wearing them in the first place. Not into heels? S’ok! Get some pointed flats. They draw the leg line out, and if you need to kick a burglar, it’ll pack more of a punch.

Don’t Do this. Never ever do this. Where did her body even go? Narnia?

Sigh, this is the worst part for me. Know those flowy tops that are everywhere? Yeah…they don’t work. Too much fabric, not enough person. Billowy tops make us look like we’re wearing a moomoo. My bf has been telling me this since day one, but I always told myself “Pffft he has a beard. What the hell does he know about fashion?” Turns out, even though he has a beard, he has eyes, and he was right. (Please don’t tell him. I’ll never hear the end of it) Those shirts make short thin girls look like they’re hiding something. A gun? A baby bump? A baguette? Who knows. Instead opt for fitted shirts, and don’t be afraid of tucking! These aren’t your mom’s clothes, and tucking makes you look skinny and tall! Pair with a skinny belt and voila! Bonjour miss Hepburn! (Stay away from large belts, unless your name is Xena, or Hercules)

She may not have been that short, but doesn’t she look super tall? Take after her ladies, she knew what was what.

Lesson learned? Please ditch the garments that don’t fit you…I beg! I’m currently clearing out my wardrobe, which is painful, but guess what? I have no clothes left so I have to go shopping! I’m so sad about that. Have fun! And remember, I’m always right…about everything. I knew all along that those shirts made me look big, I swear.

V xo

P.s Thanks All Women Stalk! You are fantastic!

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